Today has been almost a week since starting Hydroxyzine paired with lexapro. The negative symptoms I’ve experienced have been dizziness, motion sickness, and some disorientation. Mostly occurring from waking up while sleeping at night, possibly from dreams. But they are a lot lesser in comparison to the Sertraline. Positive impacts have been more gradual and less as noticeable. Some days I’ll still wake up like I’m used to while other days I notice the meds helping a lot. The weekend and today being days where I’ve felt good from the meds. I’ve been able to concentrate more on what I’m doing without as many distractions or jumping around. A lot more motivated to stay concentrated as well. Along with having more stable moods and emotions. Instead of shit at work happening ruining my mood I’ve been able to recover quickly from it and continue on with what I’m doing. As in they don’t affect me as much. The Hydroxyzine has had a huge impact on my anxiety, today I had a meeting with my new boss and HR. I could tell when the med kicked in as I was much more relaxed and able to talk through my thoughts without tripping over words or caring as much about exact wording, it flowed better and naturally.
I’m looking forward to seeing how going up to my full dose, doubling my current, will affect me going forward.
Another part of why I may be feeling better is my hyperfixating over Obsidian. I redid my personal Obsidian usage a bit and changed up some of my published site. Along with learning some more things, finding more CSS and useful things others have made. I feel better having indulged in my interests here.
I’ve also adjusted my PC with some major changes, getting them out of the way so I can work on my PC projects over time now that a milestone is out of the way. This milestone being swapping to a heavily debloated and modified via Answer file copy of Windows 11. With that, I’ve also setup a copy of Kali Linux Purple for system security and learning Linux. Kali offers WSL and can even do a seamless compatibility mode which displays on top of your desktop environment. Effectively, WSL combines a Kali Linux experience with a Win11 OS and desktop. It’s rather buggy and being new to Linux it’s rather obtuse to figure out and use.
There are many projects I have planned, so many things I want to learn, with little time and energy to dedicate to them. I wish I had more ability within my life to focus on them rather than work. A salary position that’s WFH would do me wonders.