It has been a long while since I tried to maintain this blog. I still would very much like to throw my thoughts to the void but a lot has happened. As I type this my current goal is to add a Dreams section to each page as I remember dreams. This should help solve my dream catalogue and journaling problem but does not address the databasing issue that I desire later. For one of the many things that I’ve been through, my job has decided it no longer cares for me in my role as the Database lead. After many meetings and talks with my boss, we couldn’t get much movement on keeping me on the team. Instead I’ve only come to my inevitable end at Activision sooner with the realization and zero room for doubt conclusion that the QA department, at least in Minnesota, is being mishandled. I was eventually going to be nudged out. Recently, I’ve taken an entire day off to fix up my resume and then applied to I think about 7-9 ish jobs for various roles ranging from QA Leads to Jira Admins. There are an exceptional amount of good outcomes that can come from me leaving Activision. I wont stagnant there anymore and am being forced to progress. All jobs I’ve applied to make at minimum $20k more a year than Activision and provide me learning opportunities while also being fully remote, so I can work from home. This all also brings the fact that I am no longer my boss’s direct report, we can now maintain a more informal friendship that I am of the belief we both desire. We’ve even exchanged personal phone numbers and chatted some.
Dreams
I took a nap and within that nap I had the following dream; I was in the back of a car behind the driver seat on it’s way through a cityscape. My mental energy and capacity was consumed on bettering myself, finding a solution that would cleanly tie up some problems. Several options were being weighed in my head between thoughts of the car hitting potholes. Each of those thoughts heavily weighed the pros and cons, potential outcomes and scenarios with picking them. Carefully sifting the sands till I found the pearls I needed to collect which would assist in telling me which way to go. Soon we arrived at one possible solution, I stepped out of the car. In front of me stood grand and welcoming the residential facade of an otherwise pristine medical facility. The car drove away behind me as I made my approach, my bag by my side swaying back and forth. Speaking to the receptionist we quickly flagged down a nurse who was willing to provide me a tour, then we were on our way. The nurse occasionally handled small tasks as we made way through the facility. To me, it showcased her care and attentiveness to her job and patients. It also helped show me just how they care for patients, that was most important. I was told this building is a medical hospital but specifically maintained as part of a residential apartment complex so that staff can appropriately handle those who are better off in assisted living with professionals on standby. Such a place being best suited for patients with chronic illness or mental health problems. My reason for tempting the allure being mental health struggles. The point of my visit was to assess first hand whether or not I was ok with that place to live long-term and if the staff thought I’d be a good fit. As I asked if I could talk about my situation I received from the nurse a need to go outside for a bit more privacy and fresh air. We made our way out double doors and down a short ramp to a nice brick patio. We got comfortable and situated then I started to talk. Shortly after, eyes shifted to the sky as sirens went off all around us, not those of the facility but air raid sirens. Nothing was visible in the sky until a single black dot grew just over buildings before softly letting gravity make its descent. It lay into the earth and exploded nearby down the hill. I tensed and braced for a shockwave, trying to simultaneously look at the explosion to assess the danger and to look away in case it would burn its imprint into my eyeballs. The shockwave hit carrying great dust, dirt, and debris, shattering just about all glass around. Relatively it was a small bomb but still very much not ideal. I made a small prayer out loud for the gods to help us, then I woke up.