Dreams
CW: Non-consensual sexual experience
Nightmare - i was outside a house with a camera when I saw a husband, wife, grandfather and child out with their car on a tarp in the driveway. The wife stood up against the car and the husband prepared a aerosol paint sprayer. He accidentally got paint on her, she wiped her glasses and complained. He then intentionally sprayed her. She got pissed and yelled at him. He played stupid like it didn’t happen and wasn’t his fault. I walked over saying I saw the whole thing and might even have it on video. She thanked me but he sprayed me with paint. I started yelling and telling him how shit of a person he is. Eventually we are on the back porch and I’m still telling him how shit he is but it’s like no one can hear me or are giving me attention. The dream logic twists and I’m now part of that family as one of their kids, sibling to the kids they have. They start to resemble my family more. I get my Legos, a combat helicopter starship mix and fly it around the house. The house had 3 floors. I flew around on the 2nd before making my descent, setting the preparations to engage in combat. We circle a few rooms before the go ahead weapons free. Making 2 quick passes launching missile barrages at the dad and grandad. Then rendezvous at base on 2nd floor. While on the 2nd floor my older sibling suggested the idea to fly for real with dad’s vr setup. I said it would be awesome to fly a starship, so we went to the forbidden dad’s office 3rd floor. It had a sort of loft balcony type thing where we sat on pristine white carpet next to the railings. They put these swim wear like goggles on me which had built in ear buds. The goggles would cave into my eye socket a little with their conical shape just as the ear buds into my ears. These goggles also blocked vision until turned on, in addition were tightly pressed around my head to ensure not coming off. I was now deaf and blind. The only thing I could hear was something like rocks being tossed around in a bucket before they rumbled to silence. I guessed they were put around or beneath me as I squirmed uncomfortably telling them to take this off as I was uncomfortable. I tentatively sat back down but onto melting ice cubes. I got insanely upset I was being toyed with while being sensory deprived. I started crying when I was grabbed and forcibly handled into various positions. I’m not sure what happened next but it got worse, and worse. I cried the deepest I’ve ever cried from being violated, my safety wasn’t their concern, my wants weren’t their concern. I was being physically used. After some time of feeling nothing happen to me the goggles came off, my vision was blurry from tears so I was effectively blind still. I ran to safety… somewhere… anywhere but there. I ended up on the 1st floor unable to leave further. I was still sobbing. I kept repeating in my head what happened. I was raped I was raped I was raped I was raped. I was just used as some object plaything against my will. My body was numb and my sense of things collapsed. My feeling of who and what shattered. I’d go through phases of deep crying into processing what happened then back to crying. I woke up as the scenes all played before me with the only verbal intrusive thoughts being I was violated I was raped.